


Shadow of a Doubt

by Rozzlynn



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Arcades, F/F, Femslash February, Fluff and Angst, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 22:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16146902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozzlynn/pseuds/Rozzlynn
Summary: "What did you want to discuss?" Homura asked quietly, glancing at Sayaka as they wandered through the arcade. Shadowed figures bobbed and swayed at the edges of her vision, clustering round the attractions like flotsam, but she tried to ignore them for now.





	Shadow of a Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted to tumblr and ao3 for Femslash February. (I received the prompt in February, at least...)

“What did you want to discuss?” Homura asked quietly, glancing at Sayaka as they wandered through the arcade.

Shadowed figures bobbed and swayed at the edges of Homura’s vision, clustering round the attractions like flotsam, but she tried to ignore them for now.

“Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to ask how you’ve been. You’ve seemed kinda distracted in battle lately, y'know?” Sayaka explained, stopping to lean against a crane game filled with stuffed toys.

“Have I?” Homura stared through the glass at the piles of pastel fabric. Countless pairs of glassy eyes stared back at her.

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be critical,” Sayaka clarified, her fingers tapping an offbeat rhythm on the glass. “I mean, you’re improving as a fighter, even if your mind seems elsewhere. It’s as if you’re too preoccupied to get nervous anymore. I guess I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad sign, but I figured I ought to ask.”

“I’m not sure what to say.” Homura met her gaze, waiting to see where this would lead.

“Am I not making any sense? Or am I being nosy?” Sayaka offered her a sympathetic smile. “I know we’re not exactly close, but any friend of Madoka’s is a friend of mine. I won’t push you to talk to me, but I want you to know that the offer’s open. You’ve already got my number, haven’t you?”

“Yes.” Homura glanced at the toys again. Had she imagined a flicker of movement beneath the arcade’s spinning lights? Nothing stirred while she watched. Her gaze was drawn to a toy dog with pastel blue fur and amber eyes.

“Hm?” Sayaka followed her gaze, then leaned in for a closer look. “Oh, hey. Madoka used to have a little toy dog like that, years ago, but she lost it during a family holiday. She cried her eyes out when she realised they’d left it behind in Kyoto. Her parents rang the hotel in case they could post it back, but they couldn’t find it anywhere. Who’d have thought they still made them?”

“I’ll win it for her.” Homura adjusted her glasses as she stepped up to the controls.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got enough for a few tries. I’ll see what I can do,” Sayaka replied, digging out her purse.

“I wasn’t offering to spare you the expense. I’d like to give it to her.”

Sayaka hesitated, studying her expression for a few moments. “You sound pretty serious. Why don’t we take turns?”

“Very well.” Homura nodded, her hair falling forwards with the movement. She flipped her braids back over her shoulders. “You first.”

“Uh, sure.” Sayaka fed the machine a coin. “I warn you, I used to be pretty good at these. Let’s see…”

Homura stepped aside to watch, tilting her head as a faint giggling overlaid the whirring of gears. The corner of the glass case slid into the space beneath her fingernails, a painless pressure.

“No, not there… Damn it, my hand slipped.” Sayaka pouted as the crane closed on empty air. “I guess it’s your turn.”

“Try as many times as you like. I’ll take my turn when you’re done.” Homura hesitated as Sayaka stared at her. Had that sounded rude? She lowered her gaze, and the habitual motion somehow made her skin crawl.  "If you win that one, I’ll pick out something else. I don’t want to interrupt.“

Ripples spread across the floor. She scuffed her heel across the tiles, and they regained their solidity.

“Are you sure?” Sayaka checked, her hand lingering on the joystick.

“You first,” Homura repeated. “You knew her first…”

“It’s not a competition.” Sayaka slipped in another coin. “Okay, we’ve sorta turned it into one, but only for fun, right?”

“Right.”

The crane snagged the toy dog, lifting it by the head.

The toy’s shadow slid up from beneath it, covering its face with a wide and formless smile. It slipped through the jaws of the crane and fell back onto the pile.

“Oh, come on! I had it that time.” Sayaka kicked the base of the machine, then sighed and paid for another go. “I wish they’d let you just buy them. Especially if you’ve already spent a certain amount…”

Homura closed her eyes. The darkness offered her another smile. She blinked her eyes open and stared at the flashing lights in the ceiling. “You’re fighting a hopeless battle.”

“Ugh, I hope not. I forgot how much I hate these,” Sayaka told her. “I wish Kyoko was here. She’d make it look easy. I swear, she’s gotten high scores in every game under this roof. She’s not even cheating, as far as I can tell.”

“Why would she?” Homura asked, tilting her head further back.

“Well, it’s not as if she really heeds the rules…”

Sayaka sounded frustrated. Homura looked down to see her blushing as she swung the crane back and forth.

“What rules?” Homura checked. “She keeps her word, whenever she offers it. Doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, mostly. Maybe her own rules are the only ones she cares about. She never bothers with homework or chores unless I remind her. She threatened to eat the laundry the other day. I know she was joking, but still…” Sayaka paused to focus, then sighed as the crane came back empty. “Besides…”

“What?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I got the impression I was the last to know.” Sayaka shifted round to lean against the machine, folding her arms across her chest. “A couple of weeks ago, I caught her stealing food from the corner store. Even though I’ve been keeping the house stocked up at all times. Seriously, the cupboards are full to bursting.

I told her she didn’t need to steal anymore. I can afford enough junk food to make sure she doesn’t go hungry again. She said old habits die hard, and she didn’t mean to stress me out, and it wasn’t a big deal. I said she wouldn’t dismiss that sort of thing if she worked there. Staff can get fired for allowing too much theft during their shifts.

Even then, she said she’d try to make better use of what we’ve got at home, and she probably won’t need to grab anything else, but she wouldn’t promise to stop stealing. Apparently that’s one of those things I can’t ask of her, because we don’t know for sure what kind of trouble we might end up in someday, and she won’t cut off a lifeline just to make life a little easier for people who are living easier lives than ours anyway.”

Sayaka glared at the wall. The paintwork shifted uncomfortably under her stare.

“You’re lucky to know her,” Homura replied, once it became clear that her input was required.

“I know,” Sayaka replied softly, dropping her gaze to the floor. “I still don’t think it’s wrong of me to be upset. I wish I could show her that she’s not alone with her troubles, and we’re not alone in the world.”

“Aren’t we?” Homura asked. “The people we save each night… They wouldn’t lay their lives down for us.”

“Sure, we can’t turn to them when it gets dangerous. But we live alongside them during the day, and that’s what makes this world worth protecting. If you had to spend your whole life trapped in a room with only magical girls for company, just the five of us cut off from the rest of civilisation, you’d get tired of it pretty quickly, wouldn’t you?”

Homura’s breath caught in her chest as she considered the idea. Oily shadows dripped from the ceiling. Sayaka stepped closer, lifting a hand as if to comfort her, then shoved her hands into her pockets, bailing out of the gesture before it got awkward.

“I wouldn’t.” Homura made herself speak before Sayaka could ask what was wrong. “I’ve spent a lot of time in hospital. Trapped in a room with no-one else. If I could spend the rest of my life with - with allies - with Madoka - with nothing left to fight… I’d never leave. If that was my reality, I’d rather die than return to a world where anything could hurt her.”

“That’s how you feel, huh? Sorry, I should have known.” Sayaka gave her a faint smile.

“You needn’t apologise.” Homura tilted her head in puzzlement. “Why would you have known? What difference does it make?”

“Right. That’s not the world we live in.” Sayaka sighed and turned back to the game.

“Our world is close enough, most of the time,” Homura replied, dipping her head to hide a smile. “So long as I can protect her, night after night, I wouldn’t dare ask for more.”

“So you wouldn’t mind if Madoka started shoplifting and picking weird arguments?” Sayaka asked, pouting slightly as the crane juddered into motion. “Or if she left you with all her chores, or borrowed your clothes without asking, or ate meals you’d tried to make for yourself in advance, or criticised your technique in battle, or - damn it, not again.”

“Borrowed my clothes…?” Homura bit her lip, turning that thought over. “If I gave her something of mine, do you think she’d wear it? Or would it be better to give her something new? Or would she find that strange, unless I wait for her birthday?”

“Uh, seriously? That depends. If you gave her a T-shirt, she’d probably be pleased, though she’d feel like she had to get you something in return.” Sayaka emptied out her purse while dispensing advice. “Don’t try to give her an expensive dress, or underwear, or anything like that.”

“I wouldn’t.” Homura watched the crane miss its mark again. “…How much does a dress have to cost before she’d see it as expensive?”

Sayaka laughed as she stepped back from the controls. “Ask her yourself. Go shopping together. I won’t tag along, since I need to stop throwing money away. It’s your turn, if you still feel like it, but if you’re not confident about your chances, I’ll come back with Kyoko.”

Homura nodded, studying Sayaka’s expression as she shifted away from the controls. “You still have something on your mind, don’t you?”

“I guess. Maybe this is a silly question, but…” Sayaka frowned at the floor. “Would I be a better friend if I didn’t criticise Kyoko? If I could honestly say all that matters to me is her affection and loyalty and courage, and all I want out of life is to buy her expensive clothes and constantly protect her and lick her shoes or whatever?”

“That’s not what she wants from you. If you started pampering her any more than you already do, she’d be uneasy unless she knew that you were doing it for the right reasons and you were still willing to be honest with her.”

“You’re probably right.” Sayaka sighed distractedly, caught a drop of shadow as it fell, then rubbed her fingers clean on her skirt.

“You argued a couple of weeks ago. If you hadn’t told me today, I wouldn’t have known,” Homura added. “You’ve shown her as much affection as ever. Do you really expect nothing less than perfection from her, or yourself?”

“No. Nobody’s perfect.” Sayaka shrugged, still looking troubled. “Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s worth keeping them to a minimum, isn’t it? You have to question yourself sometimes.”

“You’re good at reminding her that it’s worth aiming high, and she’s good at reminding you that people have reasons for falling short of the mark. That’s why you’re lucky to know each other. You’re both more compassionate than you used to be.”

“You think so?” Sayaka asked, blinking in surprise.

Homura nodded. “I’d even say you’re more capable now than you’ve ever been before.”

Sayaka laughed, blushing slightly. “Well, thanks. Why can’t you always be this nice?”

Homura tensed up, shifting her gaze to the floor. “I didn’t realise I wasn’t.”

“Ah, sorry. I really didn’t mean to criticize, at a time like this,” Sayaka replied, waving her hands apologetically.

“I… It’s okay.” Homura looked up, tugging at one of her braids. “What do you mean, a time like this?”

“Oh, you know. I asked you here in case you wanted to get anything off your chest, and I ended up venting instead.” Sayaka smiled sheepishly. “I said you can feel free to call me, but I bet that offer doesn’t sound too appealing right now.”

Homura hesitated for a few seconds, reconsidering the first reply that came to mind. _If you’re apologising, why does it sound as though you’re fishing for sympathy?_

“…We might have reason to contact each other,” Homura answered, before the silence became intolerable.

“Right, right. If you want to talk battle strategy, or shopping tips, or whatever, then drop me a line. Or if you’d like me to pass a message to Kyoko. You probably don’t need me to tell you this, but she can be pretty understanding, once you get to know her.” Sayaka’s smile grew a few shades more relaxed. “We all rely on each other, so we’ve got reason to support each other through the tough times, y'know?”

“You’re taking that concept to heart,” Homura replied, unsure what else to say.

“I’m trying to live up to Mami’s example,” Sayaka admitted. “She’s been my inspiration from the start, but it’s taken me a while to realise how hard she works to hold this group together. Even if I’m more capable than I used to be, I’ve got a long way to go before I can begin to compare to her.”

Why did Sayaka’s explanation sound like a partial truth? Homura blinked, standing still as icy shadows crept across her legs. Her vision went dark. She closed her eyes, waiting for the trouble to pass. After a few seconds, the chill faded, leaving pins and needles in its wake. She squinted dead ahead and found her vision had returned, bleary round the edges. Sayaka was staring at her in undisguised concern.

Homura almost tried to brush off the matter by ending the conversation, but something in Sayaka’s expression made her hesitate.

_She won’t drop this unless I ask a favour of her, so that she can pretend she’s helping._

“Honestly, there is something I’ve been meaning to ask Kyoko,” Homura admitted. “Could you tell her that I’d like to talk?”

_As if I didn’t have her number too. As if I honestly had need of you._

“Sure, I said I’d be happy to pass on a message. Any particular time or place?” Sayaka checked, bouncing on her toes.

“Whatever suits her schedule. There is something on my mind, but it’s not urgent. I’d already have asked her if I was sure it wasn’t my imagination. Since I couldn’t be sure, I thought I ought to wait a while to see if it resolves itself.”

Homura stared down at her shoes, realising how silly that sounded after saying it aloud. Over the last few weeks, she’d been pushing herself through a lot of late nights, and coming over tired at odd hours, unless she skipped classes to catch up on sleep. Knowing her medical history, nobody batted an eyelid when she left for the nurse’s office, except for the handful of allies who knew that she could draw on magic to dispel her old frailties. She couldn’t make them worry by absenting herself too often. She couldn’t leave them to fight without her support.

She was tired, so she’d been seeing black spots in her vision. Hearing echoes of laughter. Having difficulty focusing on unfamiliar faces. Sensing phantom movements in the shadows. Even if she slept. Even while she slept. She’d been misjudging people on the basis of first impressions. Feeling deja vu. But those excuses weren’t enough anymore. Her formless doubts were starting to take on unpleasant forms.

“Why don’t I tell her that you’d like to meet up at that new cafe at the weekend?” Sayaka suggested. “That way, you’ll have a few more days to think it over. If everything resolves itself by then, you can treat it as a chance to relax. Tell her I’ve encouraged you to get to know everyone a little better, and you thought she’d enjoy a meal out.”

“That’s a good idea.” Homura breathed a minor sigh of relief. She wouldn’t have to shoot down a bad idea.

“Right, hold on while I make a note…” Sayaka started typing on her phone, humming something melodic under her breath.

Homura kept an eye on the crane game prizes while she waited. Hopefully Kyoko would be able to provide independent confirmation of her suspicions, one way or another.

Were they at the mercy of something more insidious than a nightmare? Could they find a way to tackle the threat head-on? Or was her mind playing tricks on her? Had she mistakenly assumed that recovering from her illness made her immune to exhaustion?

This wasn’t the first time she’d had reason to doubt her senses. She’d spent months languishing in hospital, dosed up on medicines with long names that she couldn’t entirely remember, without much to do except rest until she was allowed out. Early on, she’d had a bad reaction to one course of treatment. During daylight hours, the glare of bright lights reflecting off white walls had hurt her eyes, and she’d mostly slept, knocked out by her prescription. During the nights, the ceiling had roiled above her, a mess of storm clouds brewing just out of focus.

Sometimes the clouds had coalesced into faces, half-melted phantoms with tusks and lumps and too many eyes. She’d lain awake, dripping with cold sweat as she tried to breathe silently, until the faces had dispersed and the discordant groaning had died down.

When the nurses had checked on her each morning, she hadn’t dared to complain about anything more upsetting than sleepless nights, since her hallucinations had been so obviously baseless. The ceiling hadn’t really come alive. Though she’d lacked the will to speak up, her worsening condition had spoken for itself, and she’d eventually been switched to another medication.

If her current fears proved to be similarly baseless, then she’d find a way to cope without involving anyone else in her problems.

“So, shall we call it a day?” Sayaka asked, slipping her phone back into her pocket.

“I’ll stay a little longer,” Homura replied, staring at the arcade game.

Sayaka followed her gaze. “Oh, don’t worry about the toy. I’ll come back with Kyoko after all. We can probably squeeze that in before patrol tonight. If it means that much to you, we could give it to you to give to Madoka.”

“I’d still like to try,” Homura insisted. She didn’t think much of Kyoko’s chances either, but that wasn’t worth mentioning.

“Did I make it look like fun?” Sayaka asked, laughing slightly. “Well, you’re free to have a go, but try not to spend too much, okay? Don’t repeat my mistakes.”

“It might be easier without anyone watching,” Homura replied. “If you see Madoka carrying it later, you’ll know I won.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll leave you be.” Sayaka slung her bag over her shoulder, then took a few steps backwards, grinning and waving. “Good luck! I’ll see you later!”

Homura nodded, gritting her teeth until Sayaka had disappeared around the corner. Once she was alone, she counted out ten more minutes on her phone.

There was no-one else in sight, though she could hear chattering and beeping from other areas of the arcade, and disembodied giggling from nearby. She activated her soul gem, and spent the next few seconds adrift in the unearthly magic enveloping her form.

When her feet touched the ground, she reached for her shield. The gears clicked as the metal spun beneath her fingers. The flashing lights above her halted on one colour, lending the arcade the hue of an aquarium.

She pulled out a handgun, ignoring the glinting bubbles that drifted through the disturbed air. While she took aim, a stray bubble popped against her wrist. Focusing on the glass before her, she fired off a couple of shots, leaving the bullets frozen in the air.

After ducking for cover behind a nearby racing game, she let time run its course. The bullets finished their journey. The explosion of glass left a brittle silence in its wake. Before the arcade’s other visitors could investigate, she re-activated her shield, and stepped up to the chastened arcade game.

She kicked in the remains of the glass panel, then reached in for the toy dog. Nothing fought her for her prize as she lifted it by the corner of one ear and shook off the debris.

* * *

Homura took a deep breath, stared at the doorbell, then went back to fiddling with her coat sleeves and checking that the gift was safely tucked away in her bag.

What should she say, once Madoka had greeted her? ’ _I heard you cried when you lost this, so here’s a replacement._ ’ No, no… ’ _Do you like this sort of thing? I know you used to like this sort of thing…_ ’ No, that wasn’t good enough… Why was nothing ever straightforward until Madoka was actually there, setting everything right with a smile?

After straightening her glasses one last time, she rang the doorbell. She shouldn’t overthink this.

Half a minute later, Madoka answered the door, looking dozy and unsurprised. She’d thrown on a fluffy dressing gown over her pajamas. Her hair was loose and lightly dishevelled. The floral perfume that she’d worn to school was still lingering in the air around her, though it was almost overpowered by the smell of baking from further indoors.

“Ah, Homura? Come in, we can talk upstairs.” Madoka gave her a sleepy smile, then led the way through the hall.

“I’m sorry if I woke you.” Homura stepped lightly across the floorboards after slipping off her shoes.

“It’s okay, I was just having a pre-patrol nap. I’d have had to get up soon anyway,” Madoka explained.

“Oh, okay.” Homura ran her hand along the bannister as they climbed the stairs, restraining herself from sinking her fingers into her friend’s fluffed out hair.

“Would you like a drink or a snack?” Madoka checked as she opened the door to her room. “I could get you something from the kitchen while you make yourself at home.”

“No thank you.” Homura followed her across the carpet, and perched next to her at the edge of the bed. “I actually, um. I came over because I have something for you.”

After digging around in her bag, she pulled out the toy dog, holding it up in both hands for Madoka’s approval.

Madoka stood up and turned to face her, a determined expression settling across her features as she clasped her hands behind her back. “I can’t accept this, Homura.”

“You can’t…?” Homura lowered her hands, letting the dog rest on her knees as her breath caught in her throat.

Madoka nodded, sitting back down beside her. “Sayaka called earlier. She said she’d been worried about you lately, so she invited you to the arcade for a chat. While she was leaving, she heard a commotion, so she went back in case you’d gotten into trouble. Did you really shoot out the glass of an arcade game and steal that toy?”

Homura forced herself to nod, clenching her fists in her coat pockets. Her phone beeped. She ignored it, waiting for Madoka to make a move.

“Do you need to answer that?” Madoka checked.

Homura took her phone out of her bag, unable to meet Madoka’s gaze. She’d received one new message.

_R u ok? Thx 4 advice re kyoko. :) Remember same applies with madoka - she’ll be unhappy if you’re not honest with her & doing things 4 right reasons. :) C u l8r. Sayaka~~~_

Madoka leaned in to read the message. Homura held her breath, trying not to cry.

“Please don’t be mad at Sayaka,” Madoka added. “She saw you shake broken glass off that gift. She had to tell me.”

Homura had waited until Sayaka was gone. She’d been careful. How could she have seen that much? Her fingers itched to text back. _You saw?? You told her??_ But what good would it do?

She eventually found her voice. “I took it home and cleaned it before I came here. I wouldn’t have just…”

“Well, that’s good to know. But someone else might have hurt themselves in the meantime, and the arcade’s owners will have to clear up the mess either way. If vandalism becomes too much of a problem, they might close the place down. Why didn’t you just play the game, or let Sayaka and Kyoko try again?”

“…I didn’t want to fight a hopeless battle.”

Homura kept her gaze fixed on the toy in her lap. If Sayaka hadn’t noticed anything strange about the arcade, then it wasn’t worth explaining. How could she have given up on something that could have made Madoka happy? A companion whose presence she’d dearly missed…

“I know those games can get frustrating, but they’re not completely impossible. Even if nobody managed to win it, you could have spoken to my parents, and they could have looked into the arcade’s wholesale suppliers. Mom has a lot of business connections, you know? It might have been a little more difficult, but you could have found another way.”

“I’m sorry.”

What else could she say? Homura closed her eyes for a moment, until Madoka clasped her hand, making her jump.

“I’m not trying to upset you,” Madoka assured her. “I just don’t want you to be reckless for my sake. I asked Mom for advice earlier, without giving her any details. She said that people can make bad decisions if they’re tired and stressed, even if they usually cope okay, so I should ask my friend whether she’s facing any problems right now.”

“Ah…” Homura focused on their entwined hands, reminding herself that it was impossible to die of embarrassment.

“I don’t think any of us have found it easy to balance school with our responsibilities as magical girls. I’ve had to work harder than I could have imagined, though it’s been worth it a thousand times over,” Madoka admitted. “Have you been finding it a struggle lately?”

Homura nodded, and leaned in until she was resting her head on Madoka’s shoulder, inhaling her perfume with each breath. “Yes. I’ve been worrying lately. Maybe worrying over nothing. I want to be someone you can depend on, or else I don’t deserve to be here at all.”

“You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself,” Madoka told her. “I want to be someone you can depend on too. Have you been getting enough sleep?”

“I don’t know,” Homura admitted. “I don’t know how much is enough. I’m not as weak as I used to be.”

“Sleep isn’t just for the weak,” Madoka replied, stifling a giggle. “If you can’t get enough rest during the evenings and weekends, you could take more sick days to catch up.”

“I shouldn’t miss more classes than I already do. Everyone else manages without skipping as many.”

“Whenever I call in sick, you don’t judge me for it, do you?” Madoka asked, poking her in the side.

“No. Of course not. If that’s what you need…”

“Why would I judge you for doing the same thing slightly more often?” Madoka reasoned. “If we’re going to stay out all night, every night, then we have to catch up one way or another. I find I can use magic to dispel my fatigue for a few days, but it catches up with me eventually. It’s easier to make it through to the weekend if I nap after school.”

“Maybe I should do that too. But I live alone. I need to set aside time for chores. And I was behind in my studies before I even transferred here. I can’t fall any further behind. People already say I’m hopeless, and they don’t know what you see in me…”

Whispers echoed in the hallways at school, even when she couldn’t see anyone around. They felt too familiar, as if she’d been hearing them for years.

“Well, that’s mean of them, and it’s definitely not true,” Madoka insisted. “You save people from their nightmares. You help them find hope. That’s not hopeless, is it?”

Homura shook her head, her eyes stinging with tears. Madoka shifted round to sit cross-legged on the bed, keeping hold of her hand, and spent a few moments looking her over.

“If you’re tired and upset, maybe you should rest tonight,” Madoka suggested. “You really do look drained. I’m sure we can manage with a team of four for one night.”

“No.” Homura sat bolt upright, blinking away tears. “I can’t stay home while you’re out there, placing yourself in harm’s way. I - I wouldn’t be able to bear it if anything happened to you. I won’t let you down. I’ll fight alongside you, and I won’t make you worry about me again.”

“Hey, I’m allowed to worry,” Madoka told her, bopping a hand against her forehead. “If you’re having a bad night, I’d rather you take some time to look after yourself, and patrol with us tomorrow in a better state of mind. You’d be worried if Mami or Kyoko started jumping at shadows, wouldn’t you?”

Homura shook her head frantically. “There’s no way I can sleep while you’re placing your life on the line. Absolutely no way.”

“Okay, then what if we both skip patrol?” Madoka offered her a guilty smile. “Honestly, I could use a night in as well.”

“Wouldn’t you be worried about the others?” Homura checked, blinking in surprise.

“I can ask them to call me if they run into a real emergency. My ringtone’s loud enough to wake me up. But I’m pretty sure they can handle themselves. They’ve got years of experience between them, you know?”

“Oh. I, uh… If that’s what you want…”

“You’re more worried about me than the others, huh? Does that mean you don’t have as much confidence in my abilities?” Madoka giggled for a few seconds, a sign that she wasn’t terribly serious.

“No,” Homura answered anyway, her voice coming out softer than intended. “It just means I’m selfish. If you’re here with me, then I’m not sure I can convince myself that anything else matters.”

Madoka laughed again, covering her mouth as she tried to suppress the noise.

“What…?” Homura tilted her head, watching Madoka bring herself under control.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, it’s sweet of you to feel concerned for me, but if you fussed as much over everyone else, you’d probably explode.” Madoka paused, her expression rapidly sobering. “That wasn’t very funny, was it? I’m sorry. I really do need to sleep…”

Homura bowed her head, covering the toy in her lap with her hand as she tried to figure out what to do with it. “I’m the one who should apologise for all of this.”

“Hey, we’ll make it right. Hang on while I text Mami, and then we can plan out what to do tomorrow.”

Madoka fished out her phone and started typing. Homura watched her fingers fly across the screen, delicate and hypnotic.

“Okay, so. From tomorrow onwards, we could try to make it up the arcade’s owners,” Madoka suggested, placing her phone to one side. “I wouldn’t want to get you into trouble, and we can’t tell people about magic anyway. But even if we keep the truth a secret, I think we could help them recoup the cost of the repairs. You stopped time, so that nobody could see you, right?”

“Yes.” Homura nodded cautiously.

“Then everyone will be wondering where the shot came from. They might start spreading rumours that the arcade is haunted.” Madoka gave her a mischievous smile. “We could make sure those rumours take off.”

“You want to tell people that it was a ghost. ..?”

“Wouldn’t that be exciting?” Madoka asked, bouncing slightly on the mattress. “We could make up a couple of different origin stories for the ghost, to get people talking. If we stir up enough interest, then the arcade is bound to see a surge in visitors once it reopens.”

“Oh.” Homura blinked as she grasped her reasoning. “If the incident draws in enough extra visitors, it’ll pay for itself.”

“Mm-hmm. We should be able to keep people’s interest from fading, too. If you pull a few harmless pranks on busy nights, you can convince everyone that the rumours are true.”

“What do you have in mind?” Homura checked.

“You could move the games around, or leave notes taped to their screens. Maybe messages like ’ _I’m sorry_ ’, or ’ _play with me_ ’, to make it look like a friendly ghost. You could scatter flowers on the floor, or leave little gifts of toys or money tied with ribbons. What do you think?”

“We might give people nightmares, even if we keep the pranks harmless,” Homura reasoned, trying to anticipate the downsides. Would they make more work for themselves each night?

“Maybe. But you should have thought of that today, shouldn’t you?” Madoka replied, putting on a serious expression again. “Once the word spreads, people will know what to expect, more or less. We’d have to stop if we started attracting journalists. A serious investigation could get us into trouble. Still, if things reached that point, the arcade could benefit from the urban legend for years.”

“It’s worth a try,” Homura agreed. “We’d have to make the stunts noticeable enough to draw attention, but not dramatic enough to scare people away. We could start with something small, to see if it has the right impact.”

Madoka’s phone buzzed, and she checked it immediately. “Mami’s messaged me back. She’ll call us if she senses any particularly strong enemies. Hopefully it’ll be a quiet night, but even if they do need us later, we should be able to get some sleep in the meantime.”

“She’s really okay with this…?”

Homura rested a protective hand over her soul gem. Lately she’d been feeling uneasy around Mami, even though she’d been a perfectly supportive mentor ever since the day they’d met. If she gave voice to her baseless unease, Madoka would definitely say that she was worrying over nothing.

“Well, more or less. She told us to take better care of ourselves so this doesn’t happen again,” Madoka replied, her smile turning sheepish.

“Oh…” Homura bit her lip. Should she try to call this off and leave now? “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come over.”

“You don’t need to keep apologising,” Madoka told her. “We’ve kept the team up to date with our plans, and we’ve come up with a way to make sure nobody loses out. I’m glad you came round. I wouldn’t want to leave you struggling with anything on your own. We’re friends, so you can tell me anything, and I’ll always try to help, even if that means approaching problems from a different angle.”

Homura nodded, trying to breathe even as she felt herself choking up with unshed tears. “You’re always so kind…”

“Do you want to stay over? You could borrow a pair of pajamas,” Madoka offered. “I think we’ve made all the plans we can for tonight, so we should get some rest soon.”

“Yes. Thank you.” Homura stared at the toy in her lap, still not quite sure what to do with it. Would it be rude to keep it in her bag overnight when Madoka didn’t want it around?

Madoka followed her gaze, and reached over to pet the little dog. “Why don’t you keep hold of that for now? If we succeed in keeping the arcade busy, I’ll be able to accept it later with no regrets.”

“Oh, you mean you do like it? Or, uh, you would like it, at some point?”

“Of course. Sayaka told you that I used to have a toy just like it, didn’t she? I’d love to accept it now, but I’d feel too guilty.” Madoka folded her hands in her lap, a wistful smile crossing her face. “You know how I am. I can’t rest easy unless everyone’s okay.”

“Honestly, that’s admirable of you.” Homura slipped the gift back into her bag.

“Ah, thanks.” Madoka giggled in a moment of self consciousness. “Shall I fetch us a snack before bedtime? If you’re too keyed up to sleep, we could relax for a while, you know?”

“If that’s what you want…” Homura shifted closer, letting Madoka take hold of her hand.

“What do you want to do?” Madoka asked. “We could read magazines, or look at photos again. Or I could brush out your hair, or…”

“Could we stay like this for a while longer?” Homura asked, squeezing her hand.

“Sure, of course.” Madoka slid closer until they were leaning against each other, breathing in synchrony.

By unspoken agreement, they collapsed back onto the bed, and lay curled up in the midst of Madoka’s stuffed toys and blankets. Homura pressed in close, basking in her warmth, and felt her arm wrap around her waist in return.

_Thank you for existing. Thank you, thank you, thank you…_


End file.
